


Exsupero

by Lamenta



Series: Graduum libertatis [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hate Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Prompt Fill, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:12:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3701681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamenta/pseuds/Lamenta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by and written based on this prompt: http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/11381.html?thread=45558389#t45558389</p><p>"Fenris and Anders have had rough hate-sex before, but this time Fenris is too rough and actually hurts Anders."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exsupero

**Author's Note:**

> RUSSIAN TRANSLATION of [Exsupero](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5234133) by the lovely [Monall](http://archiveofourown.org/users/monall/pseuds/monall). LamLam feels very honored that another of her stories has been translated :3c

Consuming.

High on adrenaline, clothes covered in gore and dirt and the intoxicating thrill of yet another victory in battle, hot blood pumping through their veins, senses heightened, their sex was consuming. There was no other word to describe what it felt like, when Fenris was feral, possessive, gauntleted hands gripping his hips tightly and pulling him close for a bruising kiss before pushing him into the empty clinic. The elf’s passion solely focused on him, his hands, his mouth, his body telling Anders that he wanted to claim him. Consume him. All of him. It made the mage feel light-headed, to be desired like this. To be desired at all; something he had once believed he’d never find.

He still can’t quite comprehend whatever it was that had made them like this. Regarding his past, Anders was fully aware that his taste in bed partners had never been a good one. Fenris, who may not hate him but certainly didn’t like him very much, was no exception. He’d always figured that maybe, fucking a mage was Fenris’ attempt to exorcize the demons from his past. Anders couldn’t very well blame him for it, either.

 

As for Anders? He didn’t know. Maybe some twisted part of him had accepted the fact that he’d never be more to someone than a decent fuck or an outlet for bottled up hate and disgust and figured if he ever wanted to get laid, this was his only chance. And it was good, too. Fenris was good.

Sex was, at last, a language they both spoke and knew how to use to their mutual benefit. They would taunt each other, anger each other. Their foreplay.

 

Fenris’ teeth bit hard enough into Anders’ bottom lip to draw blood, pulling a choked moan from Anders who was fumbling with Fenris pants first, then started tearing off his own clothing, a grease spell casted in one hand. Fenris wasn’t one for foreplay or careful preparation, something he had admitted from the start. He would not ‘coddle a mage’, if Anders wanted to fuck, he better make sure he was well prepared. Anders had no objections; he knew what would await him otherwise and he had enough of that.

 

No more pain than necessary. No more _unwanted_ pain. The good kind, Fenris was an expert at delivering. Just like he expertly silenced Justice inside his head. Anders craved these moments, the blessed silence, the times were Justice would retreat into the far back, appalled by carnal pleasures, uncomprehending by Anders’ need for them.

 

“Hurry up”, Fenris growled against his mouth just as Anders toed off his boots and let his pants fall to the floor, stepping out of them hurriedly as Fenris pushed him backwards further into the clinic, his gauntleted hands returning to Anders’ narrow hips, gripping hard again yet mindful not to tear his claws into milk-white, freckled skin. The cold metal against his heated skin felt amazing and Anders let out an appreciative moan while he reached back, thrusting two fingers into himself to prepare for Fenris. It neither took much, nor long. Anders did, after all, fancy the burn and stretch when the elf took him. His bare ass hit one of the cots and Fenris finally stopped pushing, his mouth claiming Anders’ in another passionate kiss, hands carefully running up the mage’s naked sides with an appreciative growl. Anders knew Fenris would never admit to finding him attractive. At least his body spoke a clear language.

 

Anders shifted carefully, trying to move onto the cot, spreading his legs so Fenris could step between them. Fenris had other plans. Before Anders knew what was happening, the elf grabbed him hard and spun him around before pushing him down, face first, on the cot. Anders eyes widened, heart leaping into his throat. _Not this. Not like this._

Fenris pressed against him from behind, his cock lining up while one gauntleted hand held him down forcefully.

 

“Fenris…” Anders whispered, his voice shaking. “Wait…”

 

_Not like this._

Never again. The only thing Anders had sworn he wouldn’t ever let happen again. He didn’t mind the position too much, as long as he still had room to move and wasn’t forced into immobility, with the intention to keep him in place to do with as the other wished. Anders felt himself tense up.

 

_No._

“Fenris…”

“Stop talking, mage”, Fenris growled, then entered the mage’s body with one, forceful thrust.

 

The air left Anders’ body as his body tensed up further; he could hear Fenris grunt and knew the elf felt something too. Instead of the pleasure burn and stretch Anders had been seeking, a dull pain started at the base of his spine, spreading painfully slow throughout his body and making his insides clench up and taking away the ability to breathe. For a moment, Anders believed himself back in that dark, cold cell, with nothing but his own voice, cut off from the Fade, screaming in pain as they held him down, slapped him across the face and demanding he be quiet already, unfazed by the tears running down his cheeks and his pleas to not do this, to not…

Fenris thrust again and a pained shout tore free from Anders’ throat, echoing loudly through the night; his back arched, metal claws tearing into already scarred skin, opening old wounds and creating new ones, pulling another pained sound from the mage. Somewhere, deep inside him, Justice howled and fought to get back to the surface of their shared consciousness. Anders didn’t know how he managed to keep him at bay.

 

Fenris froze when he felt Anders going limp beneath him; blood, hot and dark red started flowing down the mage’s back, dripping into the place where their bodies were connected.

_“Mage?”_

Anders’ body jerked beneath his hands; once, twice. A broken sob reached his sensitive elven ears. A cold feeling crept down Fenris’s spine.

“Anders?”

“Please…”

Fenris stripped his gauntlets off quickly before reaching out, brushing away blond strands to get a better look at the other man’s face.

“Anders, I am sorry…you arched your back so suddenly, I hadn’t meant to –“ Fenris fell silent. The mage was crying. He was pale. The look in his eyes told Fenris he was absolutely terrified.

“No…please…please, Fenris, don’t” Anders begged between sobs.

He was in pain. In a lot of pain.

Fenris felt panic creep up inside of him. He placed a gentle hand on the small of Anders’ back and was terrified when Anders flinched, another sob escaping him. He could feel him shake as he cried into the worn-out fabrics on the cot, as Fenris carefully slid out of the tense body, hissing at the discomfort that it caused his already wilting erection. He watched Anders’ knees buckle and give in, the mage dropping to the floor, his body still shaking. Watched blood starting to pool on the dirty floor; his pulse was racing, eyes wide and trying to understand.

“Anders.”

He carefully reached for the mage’s shoulder and shook him gently. “Mage!”

Anders flinched.

“Mage, heal yourself. Your back, you need to heal it!” Fenris demanded.

 

Anders was waiting for the pain to subside. He’d almost forgotten how much it hurt. Almost. He should have known. He should have known, shouldn’t have let that ‘thing’ with Fenris happen, what had he expected – “Anders.” Amber eyes opened, gazing into bright, green ones, terror clearly visible in them.

“Anders,” Fenris said again, so gently that Anders felt more tears well up. “Your back.”

Had Fenris ever called him by his name before?

The elf got up, leaving Anders on the dirty ground. Of course, he would. They always did that, didn’t they?

 

It took Anders a moment to comprehend.

He was on the ground.

He was no longer being held down.

Fenris had stopped.

 ** _It’s over_** , Justice confirmed, quieting once again.

He gasped loudly when his body relaxed, air rushing into his lungs. A cool cloth was pressed against his back and Anders hissed at the sting. His back. What Fenris had been trying to tell him.

Anders raised a shaking hand and cast a healing spell over his body. Skin was renewed and closed the wounds metal claws had torn into him. At least this time, he could. He wouldn’t gain even more scars than he already had. His breath hitched when he felt a warm hand gently caressing over his back.

“What happened?”

Anders couldn’t seem to stop the tears from falling and figured he must look pretty pathetic. At least that would give Fenris more to taunt him with. The little mageling crying because he couldn’t take the ex-slave’s cock.

“What happened?” Fenris grabbed his chin, forcing Anders to look at him. “What did I do?”

The mage shifted, then winced when his lower body reminded him of the onslaught it had just gone through as well. The sound that escaped his lips when he felt blood trickling out of where it really had to business to be was wrecked. He could hear Fenris inhale sharply. They had been rough with each other. Often. Sometimes, bites and scratches would cause blood to spill. Yet Fenris had never made him bleed there.

“Anders.” Fenris sounded pained. “Venhendis…I didn’t mean to…”

“It was my fault,” Anders whispered. “I tensed up, didn’t I?”

Again, Fenris forced the mage to look at him. Fenris also _looked_ pained. “What happened?” he asked, once again.

“Memories.”

Fenris frowned.

“You forced me down…I…”

Fenris’ eyes darkened a little at that. His thumb gently traced over Anders’ swollen, bruised bottom lip.

Ander pulled away. “Don’t…”

“Anders…”

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Act like you care!” Anders snapped at him. “Blighted elf, don’t you even dare faking compassion over this. Just don’t.” He gestured rudely, casting another healing spell to repair the damage on in his insides. He slumped as soon as the pain subsided and took a deep, shaky breath. “Don’t hold me down like this again and we’ll be good. Consider it a rule.” Anders reached up, grabbing the edge of the cot for support to pull himself up. “Shall we continue then?” His legs shook. Anders figured it would be best to remain on the floor for a moment longer.

“I do.”

Anders in- and exhaled slowly to calm his nerves. “Do what?”

“Care.”

A hand in his hair, slender fingers running through it gently. “Do you honestly expect me not to care when I hurt you like this?” Fenris asked quietly. “That I would take _pleasure_ in it?”

“I don’t know what to expect from you at all,” Anders answered honestly. “Other than…” He paused. “No matter.”

 

They were silent for a while. Anders’ body was still trembling and he hated that it refused to subside. Fenris was still caressing through his hair gently.

“What kind of monster do you take me for?” the elf eventually asked.

“I could ask you the same,” Anders shot back tiredly. “You call me that all the time, after all.”

Fenris remained silent.

“Justice”, Anders eventually blurted out. He hadn’t meant to but it had suddenly bubbled up inside him.

The elf looked at him, wary, yet telling Anders with his eyes to continue.

“It’s the reason…” Anders paused again. “They can…they can silence me. Smite me. Drug me with magebane…but none of it…”

“…affects Justice,” Fenris finished for him. Still caressing. Still so gentle. Fueling the trembles in his body. The sudden need to curl up against the elf and cry until there were no more tears left. Pretend, if only for a little while, that someone cared. That Fenris cared.

“Sorry for ruining the mood”, Anders murmured. “Whatever that means, I guess.”

Strong arms suddenly enveloped him. His first instinct was to fight, to struggle and he could sense hesitation before he found himself pulled against a lithe, strong body. His head came to rest on a slender shoulder, a gentle hand still in his hair. The other found his back, fingertips tracing faded scars for a few moments before resting comfortably on his hip, securing Fenris’ hold on the mage.

“We have our differences,” Fenris murmured into his hair. He sounded remorseful. “Most of the time, it seems our constant arguing is more instinct than intent. We have never learned to treat each other differently than we’ve had since the day we met and none of us have ever made the actual effort to try and see past the mutual hate.”

“I never hated you,” Anders replied in kind. “I still don’t. All I do is try to make you understand that not every mage is like those bastards in Tevinter.”

He felt Fenris bury his nose into his hair, inhaling deeply.

“Know that I would never hurt you in such a way,” Fenris continued, keeping his voice low. “And never have I wanted to. I apologize. I caused you pain.”

Anders felt himself relax, the trembling finally subsiding. He reached up a hand, wrapping it around the back of Fenris’ neck, his head slowly lifting to look at the elf.

“I know,” Anders answered. “You stopped.”

_I didn’t expect you to, though._

 

Fenris’ lips were gentle when they touched his. It felt alien, the gentle caress, the shy request for access to his mouth.

It felt wrong, it broke their rules.

It was perfect.


End file.
